On Saturday, I received a wonderful surprise in the mail! My sweet friend Jaimie drew a comic for me based on one of our crazy CPS stories that I had recently ranted about to her. Enjoy Jaimie’s awesome work…
So the story behind this…our agency notified me that my CPR/First Aid certification would be expiring in August. I didn’t think anything of it, as I had received Pediatric Advanced Life Support certification on my last day of work at the children’s hospital. I went to the certification website, copied off a paragraph about what all is included in the training, and merrily sent it off to our case manager. I assumed (wrongly) that common sense would come into play and that the training that far exceeds the minimum first aid requirement would satisfy my upcoming certification needs.
“Well, we’d really like to accept this, but your card doesn’t say the words “first aid” on it.”
Are you kidding me? Pediatric. Advanced. Life Support. That card says I am qualified to be on the medical team that works desperately to save children who are actively trying to die. The car wrecks. The overwhelming infections. The cardiac arrests. I can put fluid lines into bones. I know the basics of intubating. I think I’ve got “first aid” down. Plus a tiny bit more.
I argued all of this with our case manager, begging to not be forced into a three hour class on band-aid application. All to no avail.
So I went to the class, where the materials did not reflect the new CPR standards, where the instructor was an hour late, and where we totally glossed over first aid, as “I’m sure y’all know all this already.” Well, now that you mention it...
Fear not, CPS. I will not be putting butter (or toothpaste? really?) on burns or sucking the poison out of snakebites, and I’m really good at those chest compressions on the not-in-any-way-lifelike dummies. Get my certification paperwork filed, as well all know that orderly paperwork is the best way to help kids and form families.
Is it October yet?? Thankfully I’ve got wonderfully artistic friends to help me laugh at all the CRAZINESS!!