So you may have been able to figure out that I’m not exactly thrilled about the Affordable Care Act/Obamacare. However, we still have to make a choice about health insurance, and the deadline is fast approaching. My husband dutifully filled out the application on healthcare.gov. Or tried to. It took 5 hours. And since then, our application has been in various states of lost/unavailable/never existed/etc. Sigh.
Fast forward to Friday, when PJ requested that I take on the next round of phone calls to try to sort out this insurance mess. What follows, ladies and gentleman, is “hope and change” at work. I can only hope that this change goes away as quickly as our application was lost.
“Hi, our application on the exchange is broken/lost. Someone was supposed to call us back three days ago to fix it, but no one ever called.”
“I can help you with that! Give me a minute to research your problem.”
“Ok, ma’am. I have a number for you to call, and someone at this number will definitely be able to help you. It’s open 24/7, so you can call anytime! Here it is.”
I jot down the number, repeat it back to my eager helper, and thank her. As I start to press “end call”, I realize with great frustration and a lot of ugly words running through my head that the number that I’m supposed to call, the number that will definitely help me is…the same number that I already called. That crazy fool gave me the main number to the call center. I can only imagine how long she may have laughed about this. I’m sure she broke a record for getting a customer off the phone as quickly as possible. I hope she got a good prize.
After lamenting about this utter failure of humanity to PJ, I called that freaking number back again and reached yet another government employee. I got a bit further with this one, though only a bit. After pulling our application, she informed me that PJ’s first call was never “escalated to a specialist”, so no one was ever going to call us to help. Sweet. She “escalates” the call again, assuring me that a specialist who will solve our application problem will call us back in two business days. Uh huh. And I have a pink flying monkey and a baby who sleeps through the night. I was barely able to restrain my sarcasm as I selected my “preferred time to receive a call-back” and resisted the urge to say that I preferred the call to be three days ago. Success.
These events only feed my little conspiracy theory that there is a plan to pay off the government debt by mandating insurance, making it impossible to get on time, and collecting fines from those who remain uninsured. I’m kidding! Sort of.
I’ll keep my phone nearby from 6-9 p.m. tonight (my preferred time!), but I’m not holding my breath. At least it’s PJ’s turn to make the next round of calls.